It's basically Christmas.

Is it Friday yet?  Seriously?  You know your week isn't off to a great start when you find yourself expecting a weekend right in the middle of a Monday. Oh well.  Today felt like another Friday, but maybe that's just because everyone is putting half the effort into everything in anticipation for the big Thanksgiving weekend up ahead.  No joke, I even went to bed EARLY last night, because I was so tired.  I'm sure you're all tired, too, though.

Maybe it's the fact that Christmas is here.  Wait.  No!  It actually ISN'T here, is it?  But you wouldn't be able to tell that from the world around us.  I'm not even going to waste my time getting upset anymore.  This kind of early madness is something I expect from big box stores and advertising.  But when I see Christmas trees lit and decorate in the windows of homes???  THAT'S a little strange.  I like Christmas.  It is lovely.  But why do we "need a little Christmas, right this very minute... as soon as Halloween is over???" *shrug* 

I guess I don't do well with expectations.  I am overjoyed to prepare for and eventually celebrate the feast of Christ's Nativity (which is in ONE MONTH).  But I don't do well with dealing with the expectation that everything has to be "PERFECT" for Christmas.  To find or make the perfect gift for 100+ people on your list.  To attend and participate in every supposed (non-religious) tradition-- Zoo Lights! Candy Cane Lane!  Cinnamon Bear Hot Chocolate Cruise on the Waterfront!--  and much more.  No wonder people start celebrating November 1st-- the month of December just isn't long enough to cram in every single thing!!!  Good luck finding any time for reading, Church or almsgiving-- not when there's a Nutcracker Dance-Along at Ye Old Theater by the Bay (ok... I'm making some of these things up... but you get the idea). 

It's too much.

Phew.  This year, I'm trying to stay calm.  In fact, I HAVE to stay calm, as I don't want any additional stress to trigger my I.T.P. Last December was not a great month for me; I had an unexpected, dramatic dip in platelets.  I had to be on a high pulse of steroids and squeeze in many visits to the doctor in an already hectic schedule.  But I digress. 

I think I struggle with the outward "chaos" of Christmas because it is very over-stimulating.  The outward beauty of everything really cranks up my creativity to super crazy, high levels... I need to learn to take it down a notch.  Each song and ornament brings an onslaught of memories, some happy and some sad, some both.  Nostalgia for the old days, and the relatives who have passed away over the years hits hard.  Christmas doesn't seem the same without the people you've celebrated with for years, maybe decades.   

A happy Christmas memory from 2012

  

I can understand how Christmas can be difficult for lonely people, or those who struggle with unhappy childhood memories.  But it can also be difficult for people like me, who struggle with high expectations and lots of sentimentality.  I don't mean to be a grinch around the holidays.  I just need to learn how to embrace December (and, November too, I guess) with prayer and peace.  I don't want my husband to suffer through my grinchy-ness through the remaining four weeks of this season.  Lord have mercy! 

Christmas 2012... Oh, how I miss babies.  *sniff*

It's true; I don't feel like I'm "good" at Christmas.  I try to do what is manageable with cheer, and a sense of festiveness.  The Christmas decorations will come out, but my home will not be Pinterest perfect by any means.  This year, I'll probably sew fewer gifts, just to save my own sanity.  I'll try and read something spiritually edifying (any good recommendations out there?).  I'll do my best to relax, so that my kids can look back and remember a happy mom during the Nativity season, instead of a ill, grumpy and stressed one. 

Please pray for me!  I hope that you have a very blessed and lovely Thanksgiving.  I plan to spend some time today baking pumpkin and pecan pies in my wee little kitchen with, probably, some wee little people helping me.  Should be nice.  :) 

For more of my ramblings on Simplicity, or at least my journey towards Simplicity, you can see my new post on The Sounding.  +

Christmas 2011, Midnight Liturgy

onwards and upwards

You guys are awesome :)  Thanks for your comments in my last post.  I do apologize for my borderline hissy-fit.  Your readership here really means a lot, even if I don't express my appreciation via generous giveaways and whatnot.  ;) 
You never know, though...! 

The kids are in school now!  We have Week 1 under our belt, and I'm still getting in the groove of it all as we embark on Week 2.  I am getting accustomed to picking up my girls on time at afternoon pick-up... let's just say I've been late more than once, and I feel terrible for it.  It is a struggle.  I don't enjoy the 30 minute commute to and from school, nor do I enjoy waking up Masha from her afternoon nap to get in the car.  I always wait until the last possible minute to wake her up, because once she's up, she's UP... she never transfers sleeping into the carseat, nor does she ever sleep in the car, period.  Fortunately she's happy, happy, happy once she's awake (she really is amazing).  But I hate cutting into her sleep routine.  I should experiment with moving her nap earlier in the day. 

At least I don't have to take them to school in the morning-- Job is able to do that on his way to work.  And, I am thankful that they go to such an amazing Orthodox school.

That said, this year I chose to simplify my life just a touch by sending Joseph to a little pre-school up the street.  We would've loved for him to join the Montessori program offered at our Orthodox Academy, but I can't handle being in the car 2 hours a day, just for school commute (he would have been half-day, meaning a 12 pm pick-up time).  No, no, and no again.  He really likes his pre-school though, the class is small and his teacher is a very experienced, sweet lady! 

  My hat is off to all of you homeschooling moms.  I know it's not all Waldorfian rainbows and peacefulness 100% of the time, but I really do envy y'all.  I wish I had it in me.  That said, I am glad that my kids are where they are.  Meanwhile I'll still work hard at getting back into the groove of being "on time" and whatnot. 

Sewing?  Yes, I have been creating a lot lately.  I can't say I've been great about photographing my projects, but I'll try and get some goodies posted for funsies. Over the past few weeks I've had the happy opportunity to sew a baptismal dress for my newest goddaughter, and I'm currently working on something special for my brand-new niece, Lydia.  Speaking of which, I need to add the final touches this evening-- maybe I'll finish it tonight!  I don't want to spoil the surprise, I'll post pictures later :)  

Yesterday Masha and I went to celebrate "Panagia's birthday", aka, the feast of the Nativity of the Theotokos with Divine Liturgy.  It was the first time I'd ever gone to liturgy with just her.  It's been nice to have some special time with my baby a few hours a week while Joe is in pre-k.   

 For now, I leave with you with a few grainy pics from our late summer festivities.  I am too lazy to upload our "First Day of School" pics.  Ha! 

Forgive the graininess in some of these shots; I simply like the feelings of warmth that they particularly evoke. 

I hope you are having a blessed September; a fresh new Church year, a fresh new school year!  Much love to you all!  XK 

August

Rosemary, Queen Anne's lace, Japanese maple twigs.

Sue cleans and rearranges the icons.  Another rosemary bouquet adds lovely fragrance.

Raspeberry Pie for Job's birthday, made with fresh, local raspberries.  It was a hit!

I haven't posted much this summer because by the end of the day, my brain is fried and I'm too tired to write.  I'd rather read other blogs.  And sew, while watching Project Runway reruns.

I've also been a little disheartened with the pursuit of blogging; it takes up time, and there's not much return on it, other than some sweet comment from a dear reader or two (maybe three :D).  I am interested in knowing who reads my blog, and the "largeness" of the internet sometimes overwhelms me and makes me self-conscious.  I see from my statistics that my blog is being read.  But who's reading?

With the kids home all day, every day, my time is limited.  And yet, I still have a strong creative drive to do SOMETHING.  Maybe it's time to start chaneling my creative energies into something more focused, with a more purposeful "pay-off" (whether monetary or some other beneficial gain).  I don't know.

I appreciate my readers, and I love it when blogging instigates a conversation of some sort, or at least a small sense of familiarity with my readers.  And I appreciate those who take the time to comment, even if it's not with every blog post.  I suppose I become the most confused- maybe hurt in the mildest possible way?-- when someone has been reading my blog for a long time, and never says a word.

I guess there are some deep philosophical questions I'm wrestling with right now when it comes to blogging :)  Why do we blog?  What are we hoping to accomplish?  What do I share/ not share with the world?

We'll see where the rest of summer takes us, and whether my desire to blog is renewed in the autumn, once the kids are back in school and I'm able to think just a bit more.

For now?  I'm still sewing.  I'm knitting, too.   Reading when I can.  I'm taking the summer to focus more on my kids, and to work on managing my stress levels and finding the balance in it all.  My health is, at this very moment, okay (from what I can tell).  No strange bruises or bleeding issues.  I.T.P. is still a part of my life, but I think things might be at a leveling point for now.  I thank God, and I have made a new friend in St. Veronica (the woman with the issue of blood who received healing from Christ in the Bible).  I'm just thankful for each day that nothing abnormal occurs-- and I try not to worry about tomorrow.

We've been enjoying our summer, swimming lessons, blackberry-picking in the backyard, time with friends and family, and the recent addition of evening Paraklesis services during the Dormition Fast.  So lovely-- such a gift!

Last night we celebrated the Feast of the Transfiguation in anticipation. It was a lovely Divine Liturgy, and it was great to celebrate with a potluck afterwards.  We truly are blessed with a lovely church community!  And today, our little crew of mail-order caterpillars emerged from their chrysalides and morphed into butterflies!!!  It was amazing!  Such a great gift for all of us to witness on this lovely Feast day!  It was certainly unexpected considering we just got our caterpillars in the mail 8 days ago!  We thought it'd take much longer.  Sorry, I didn't think to take photos, I just took video. 

The perfect summer dessert?  Berry Pie.  Such a plain name... it deserves some title much more elaborate.  But it is just that.  Super simple, and super yummy.  All you have to bake is the crust (or not, if you buy one ready-made from the store).  Mine is gluten-free and Lenten (vegan), and technically could pass as Paleo.
  

"Just because" pie, made recently with fresh raspberries and frozen blueberries

  
Almond Crust:
     slightly modified from Nourishing Traditions (p. 558)

1 cup Almond Meal
3/4 c. arrowroot or corn starch
3/8 c. coconut oil
1/4 c. coconut sugar/ rapadura or granular sweetener of choice
1/4 tsp. sea salt
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Process all ingredients in a food processor until smooth.  Or, just stir it all really well in a large bowl.  Press into a 9-inch pie dish and back at 325 degress for 30 minutes.

Berry Pie:
       slightly modified from Nourishing Traditions (p. 560)

4 c. of berries, fresh or frozen
1/2 c. water
1/4 c. maple syrup
2 Tbs. lemon juice
1 Tbs. gelatin ( dissolved in about 5 TBS water over low heat)
1 Tbs. chia seeds

Place half of berries in food processor with water and maple syrup.  Process until berries are liquefied.  Add lemon juice, chia seeds and gelatin mixture while motor is running (or between pulses, if, like me, you have don't have a fancy processor).  Place remaining berries in cooled pie crust and pour gelatin mixture over them.  Refrigerate several hours before serving.  

It's June in Oregon!

Hello!  The days of June are flying by indeed.  Since May ended, I have enjoyed a wedding anniversary (9 years!), wearing entire outfits that are not made by me, and the Irish TV comedy, Moone Boy*.  Our oldest girls just have one more day of school, and then it's summer vacation.  I don't know how I feel about that yet.  I think we'll all be relieved to have a break from routine.

Yet, I selfishly wonder how I'll hold up when the "I'm booooooored...." moanings begin.  I'm going to take my customary "Love and Logic" response, which is:  offering chores and/or allowing them the opportunity to creatively solve their boredom problems.  Now, I just need to brace myself for the "I'm huuuuuuungry" cries, which seems to be a highly contagious problem that quickly spreads from one child to all four within minutes of onset.  I cannot handle whining, nor can I handle preparing snacks in the kitchen 24-7, so I usually respond with a "Are you sure you're just not bored?" or a "Lunch is in an hour--you can wait."  When neither of those work, they are welcome to help themselves to something quick and easy like fruit or chips.

After many days of gorgeous, sunny weather, Oregon is now overcast and drizzly, as is customary for the last few days of school.  Just when you think summer is here and the sun is here to stay, the clouds pull a fast one on us and hover in the Pacific Northwest skies.  Just a little inside Oregonian knowledge, you know.

Speaking of Oregonians, I feel like a whole lot of people are moving here.  Like, a LOT.  Some of my friends seem to agree, while others sort of shrug and look at me like I'm nuts.  But my afternoon commute to pick up the girls is getting more and more congested.  I see license plates from all over the country each day, and I can't help but wonder if these people are just passing through, or new arrivals.  The cars on the road are getting nicer and nicer-- lots of wealthy individuals, it seems.  I've lived in Oregon for 23 years, and the metro area for the past 12.  I've noticed a palpable difference, and I can't help but wonder if "Portlandia" has been a catalyst for this change.

 Thanks to Fred and Carrie, Portland is once again a new frontier, now that people know we actually have electricity and don't travel via covered wagons.  At least now the burbs are clogged with Nike hotshots, Lexus SUVs and a Whole Foods on every street corner.  Sure, we have rain, but we also have comparatively "cheaper" houses and short-ish commutes (I guess 30 minutes IS shorter than the 2+ hours some people spend communiting each day?).  Young people hop in their Mini-Coopers and arrive here in droves, yearning for the free-ranged Promised Land of food carts, Intel and CSA deliveries. 

I'm probably not weird enough to don the ubiquitous "Keep Portland Weird" bumper sticker on my minivan.  But if I can be a curmudgeon for a minute, I would like one that says, "Portland Is full now, KthanksBai."     

Okay, now I'll stop with the complaining!  I guess it's been a long week for me.  For some reason each day has felt like a Friday, which is kind of nice, except I keep expecting a break but can't seem to get one.  Transitions, even good ones like summer vacation, make me oversensitive to any little change and hence, I make mountains out of molehills.  Or it could be that I started my day at the dentist, getting my mouth drilled for three cavities.  Eck.  Fortunately my dentist office is fairly swanky and I got to watch HuluPlus while I had my teeth worked on.  I've been on a big "Moone Boy" kick here at home, so I decided to watch at the dentist, too.

Sail Away, Sail Away, Sail Away, Enya parody, from the "Ghost Raft" episode

Bad idea.  If you have a chance to watch something while you have lots of sharp tools and drills in your mouth, I suggest NOT watching something funny.  When  David Hasselhoff started singing at the Berlin Wall event, and his leather jacket lights up, I had to look away from the screen because I couldn't allow myself to laugh.  I've never, ever had that problem before during a dentist appointment.  It was probably one of the strangest things I've ever experienced.  

Padraic:  "I hope he plays the keyboard on his scarf"

Aaaaand... I'm signing off now, because I FINALLY have a night to sew!!!!  I'm very excited.  I have the happy dilemma of actually NEEDING some dresses added to my wardrobe, so I won't delay any longer.  I hope you have a great Pentecost week and enjoy a fast-free Friday.  Ahh.  Friday.  Finally!!!!  :) 

* Moone Boy is available on Hulu.  It is like an Irish "Wonder Years" that is set in the 1989-early 90s, an era I remember quite clearly.  It can have some crass moments, so I apologize if you end up watching it and are offended at all.  

A new year!

Happy New Year!

I'll go ahead and start with a succinct description of our holiday celebrations: mildly put, the theme was "SIMPLIFICATION."  Or, "survive", more like it.  A week before Christmas, Vasi was the first to be hit with a virulent stomach bug.  Susy got it next, and they each recovered at varying paces.  We thought we were out of the woods by the time the weekend came, but Sunday morning I was greeted by the unmistakable stench of vomit upon entering Joe's room.  How that kid slept in his own vomit, I'm not sure.  He's a great sleeper, I guess? Surprisingly that was his lone episode, and he awoke with energy and vigor to tackle the day.

Winter Walk

Later that afternoon I started to feel unwell.  The day did not end well for me, and I succumbed to the virus after having to leave early from our goddaughter's namesday celebration (lame nouna!).  Unfortunately after I got home, I started to vomit up blood, because of the ol' I.T.P., and gave the doctor a call to ask about it.  She suggested I go to the E.R. "just in case", to rule out internal bleeding.  Thank God, I got into a room very quickly (I was in pretty bad shape), but after two hours, I was released with a fresh I.V. of fluids, and prescriptions for more steroids and anti-nausea medication.  Thankfully the blood was likely from an esophagus laceration instead of anything more serious.  And thankfully, I had not recieved Holy Communion earlier during Divine Liturgy.  That would not have been good....

Needless to say, it was a little bit scary.  This is one of those instances where my health condition can quickly become complicated, without much moment's notice. 

The rest of the week, we were all still a little wobbly as we recovered from the stomach bug.  When Job and I awoke at 11 pm on Christmas Eve to rouse ourselves for the midnight Liturgy, we just couldn't muster the strength to move, let alone get ourselves and four small children dressed and ready.  I was very sad to miss the much-anticipated Christmas service, but what can you do?  Lord have mercy. Next year!!!

White cheddar puffs are her new best friend. 

Our extended family also battled with sicknesses over the holidays.  We saw relatives just long enough to exchange apologies for avoiding hugs and cross-contaminating our various viruses.  Gifts were exchanged, but time together was to-the-point and limited.  As an Italian, like it or not, I'm used to large doses of time with family, lingering over long dinners and bantering into the later hours. 
My body appreciated the toned-down approach, but it was certainly an adjustment to what my expectations usually are.

The Feast of St. Basil.  All of the "Basils/Vasilis/Vasilikis/Vasilias await the cutting of the vasilopita

 

 

Job had some time off, but took advantage of working during the quieter holiday hours at his office.  Thankfully, the kids seemed content to stay home and play with their new toys, so I can't complain about that.  I think they're starting to get a little restless now, though.  Actually, I think we were ALL a little stir-crazy today, myself very much included. 

Christmas breakfast.  Gluten free gingerbread waffles... on recovering tummies, nonetheless

Usually I really relish these 12 days of Christmas.  The time between the Nativity and Theophany always seem to languid, reflective, peaceful-- filled with twinkling lights and thankful hearts.  This year there are still elements of that, but we really had to readjust our expectations this year, scale back on activities for our own sakes, and focus on maintaining a calm, healthy, low-stimulation household.  I missed the baking and the mad-panic sewing-- my health would not benefit from any of the added stress, or so I thought.  Maybe next year I'll just do it anyway :)  More platelets in 2014 mean more parties, please!  Haha.   

I just pray that 2014 will be a year of physical and spiritual restoration.  As a mom of four, I know that I cannot avoid STRESS entirely.  But where can I cut out unnecessary stress?  I'm not great at discerning between what can wait and what can't. I pray that God will show me throughout the year.

Decorating the tree earlier in December

I do look forward to seeing what my sewing machine produces this year. 

                                    My sewing goals are:

-Baby quilts (3... maybe 4 that I know of so far!)

-Focus on simple patterns.  Crank out some instant-gratification goodies.  I'm excited to explore some of my Japanese pattern books (especially Simple Modern Sewing), and get some mileage out of this adorable skirt pattern I bought today.  And, oh yes!  I also ordered the Anna Dress pattern from By Hand London.  It's so lovely, simple and elegant, though I'll probably skip the thigh-high slit :D  haha.  I think it has lots of potential for variations, and could be dressed up for special events or worn with a cardigan and tights for church. 

-"Fabric Fasting 'Til February"!!! 
 I SO NEED to "shop my stash!"  Yards and yards of fabric sit folded, teetering, on nearly every shelf surface in my sewing room and even in the kids' playroom.
I'd love to make it through the whole year without buying fabric, but if I can even abstain from purchases until February, I would consider it a small victory.  Here's to "Fabric Fasting 'Til February"!!! 

-Avoid silly, self-inflicted deadlines.  They just stress me out.  Sew because it's fun, not because life is a race.  

-Finish my Works In Progress.  I have an embarrassing amount of WIPs that need to get sewn up.  I have several dresses that also need altering, as well as some family quilts that are half-finished.  This really needs to happen before I buy anymore fabric.  :\  Seriously friends, feel free to keep me accountable on this!  I need to get whipped into shape with my WIPS.

-Knitting?  It's going.  I've only successfully completely one item, and that was a hat for Masha.  I spent a few weeks working on a bright yellow shawl... a super-simple garter stitch shawl that I've still managed to mess up!!!  I'm at a standstill because I have two long rows to UNKNIT, and I'm not looking forward to it.  I plan on taking classes at the local yarn shop this year and hope to improve this skill in 2014 with a little more guidance.  But for now, I'm happy to sew :) 

A few of the crew on the night we went to ZooLights!  Thank God, we had enough energy that night to get out and have some fun together :) 

Love song for a sweater

The evening after I wrote the last blog post, I got knocked down by a sudden, strong fever.  Literally, Job came home, and I excused myself from the evening routine, and went to bed.  Although the fever was gone by the next day, I'm still battling whatever "bug" this is.  I've had varying levels of energy and malaise.  Job ended up getting sick too, and so did little "M."  We had to cancel our weekend trip to visit my sister in Washington.  We braced ourselves for a miserable weekend of stir-craziness, illness and dealing with the disappointment of the older (thankfully healthy children).  What are we going to do???  Hubby and I asked each other.

A calmer moment in the otherwise stormy weekend

Well.  We still celebrated M.'s birthday with a quiet, quaint celebration Friday night.  She enjoyed her treat of peaches and whipped cream.  Nothing too sugary for this sick little birthday baby!  She had no qualms whatsoever, and ate it up happily!

Funny Girl!!!

Chicken broth was made.  Naps were had.  Books were read, and movies were watched.  Messes were made.  Dishes were done.  Laundry churned.  Rains and winds battered the trees outside. I read some of the latest issue of "Taproot", and admired it's stories and beautiful photos, and tried not to hate myself for not living on a farm, raising chickens and foraging for edible weeds I've never heard of.  Amazingly, the kids got along with one another and made up games to play. Really, it was a mind-boggling blessing to have them play so nicely-- it doesn't always happen, let me tell you!   Job was feeling well enough to take the oldest three to church today, while I stayed home with M.

I managed to get out amidst the wet downpour this evening and pick up a knitting book.  Now, I may have also purchased enough yarn for a sweater.  I may have even chosen a sweater pattern.  I may have even joined Ravelry for sheer inspiration.  But I'm tentative to say "I'm going to learn to knit!"-- because I've said that before, and I got bored/ impatient/ lost and gave up a short time later, and I'm afraid it'll happen all over again.

HOWEVER.  I love sweaters.  And I would love to one day, be able to make my own sweaters to go with my self-sewn clothes.  Some of my long-standing favorite sweaters have recently "bit the dust," whether it be holes in the elbows or merely less flattering on my 'mom of four' body than it had been on my 'sophomore in college' body.  I've tried, in vain, to scour the thrift stores for new sweaters.  But the only ones I've found have holes already, or need to be dry cleaned (ick!).  I have not had success (or the time) to find new favorites.  I often think that the best thrifted clothes often find you.  I won't mention now that I'm currently wearing and sort of loving a garish men's sweatshirt with the words "Big Bear Outfitters" on it.  And yes, you guess it-- there's a big bear on it.  I picked it up as a gag-- something cheap to repurpose.  I brought it home, washed it and laid it aside... Then, earlier this week, in my feverish delerium, I picked it up in desperation for SOMETHING to fight off the chills.  Then it was so comfy I forgot I was wearing it, until Job saw me and started laughing.

SO... long story short, I think I might need to learn how to knit.  

Agatha

Anyway.  If I can't make a sweater for myself, maybe I can make one for Agatha.  Agatha is the Waldorf doll I made for little M.'s birthday.  I had a lot of fun making her-- it wasn't as difficult as I thought it'd be!  M. didn't really give her a second thought... but V. and S. played with the doll all weekend :)  Although I only know a minimal amount about the Waldorf education philosophy, I can say that I admire their appreciation for/ attention to aesthetics.  Making Agatha was  a much more satisfying experience than going to a store and buying something off the shelves.  Even though M. seems to prefer stuffed animals and kitty cats, I know she'll like Agatha eventually.  :)   

This little girl turns ONE this week!!!!  Can't believe it!!! 

How is everyone doing?  September has been very busy for us.  The girls are getting the hang of school, and they like their new teachers.  We've mostly adjusted to the new daily schedule and seem to have found our "groove."  I've found pockets of time to sew here and there, and I've been delighted to have some "paying" and non-selfish sewing projects lately.  It's really been a dual blessing, because I find myself more paced and careful when I sew for someone else.  Which means, I don't push myself to stay up late (because fatigue usually always leads to a lot of stupid errors). 

This past weekend Job and I had the very, very blessed opportunity to baptise our new goddaughter, Sophia.  Sophia is the daughter of our dear friends, one of whom I've "known" online as a blogging friend (who moved here last year) for many, many years!  Sophia was a champ during the baptism, and barely made a peep, even after being dunked!  Glory to God!  Her saint is St. Sophia of Thrace-- and if you haven't heard of you, I recommend reading her story! What a great patron saint for sweet little Sophia!

I really enjoyed sewing Sophia's baptismal gown.  I used a very stark white linen, and cotton eyelet trim.   The pattern was from Simplicity 2629, a 1948 vintage reprint, which I highly recommend.  It's a very simple pattern with careful, by-hand details. 

Somehow I managed to finish reading three books in the past month.  Seriously, I don't know that happened.  My eyes are usually glued to the sewing machine or, sadly, the computer screen (blogs!) if I have any free time.  But it certainly helped that the books I read were awesome.  Saved by Ben Hewitt, Lessons from a Monastery by Matushka Constantina and I finally finished Everyday Saints.  Book reviews to come-- because if a book is good, I usually can't shut up about it :)  I'd totally add links for these books, but I gotta run out and pick up the girls from school right now! 

I hope you're enjoying fall so far!  By the way, for anyone interested, my platelet count was up to 126,000 earlier this month!  I have another appointment this Friday, so hopefully they've continued to improve :)  

Summer's End

Colette patterns Ceylon dress

Piping along the back yoke.  Fit issues here... meh.  :)

Just after  we got home from the wedding

My soon-to-be kindegartner!!! 

Susy's shot of the sky

Little J-Boy!

Surf girls :) 

Busy beach babies

Summer is coming to a quiet close.  I can't believe that the girls will begin school THIS Tuesday!  I'll really miss them.  I know I'm weird. 

The last few months have been fairly uneventful, which is kind of okay with me.  My body needed a summer break-- some permission, if you will-- to take it easy.  Now I'm feeling pretty good-- Glory to God!-- at least, good enough to tackle the beach with four kids and go on a family day trip to the local amusement park (last week).  Day trips.  I can do day trips!  I even joined my kids on some of the kiddie rides, which is the extent of my risk-taking  :)


The ocean was so relaxing.  I know I get teased by my family for not "doing much" at the beach (I'm okay with napping/ people watching/ and poking a toe or two in the water).   But I love the fact that my ever-nagging sense of self-consciousness seems to disappear when I'm close to the water.  I feel like a kid again, even if it's a lazy kid who'd rather poke around the tidepools than roll around in the sand and get drenched in freezing cold water).  One of my psychology college professors liked to assure us that, once you turn 30, you just stop caring what people think... in a good way.  Well, I'm 30.  Perhaps I was expecting an overnight sort of metamorphisis-- an immediate flushing of my inner self-critic, straight down the drain.  Needless to say, I'm not there yet.  :)

So until that happens, I'll have to remind myself to make more trips to the beach.

 The dress?  The dress!  It's my most recent selfish sewing project.  I wore it to a wedding two weeks ago.  It's yet another Colette pattern, the Ceylon dress.  I made another version of this dress about 3 years ago, right after Joseph was born.  That first dress has since been dyed, taken in, and worn many many times since then.  Clearly, it's a favorite!  I'm not sure why it took me so long to make another, but I finally did!  The pattern has such great instructions, and sewed up nicely.  I'm sure I could fuss over certain "fit issues", but I'm lazy.  The fabric?  A thrifted bedsheet!  No joke.  I did add some piping to kick up the classiness a notch. 

Now I'll spend the last shreds of summer finishing up sewing Vasi's school uniforms, spending time with family and god-family over the weekend, and of course liturgy on Sunday morning.   

Happy be-lated Feast of the be-heading of St. John the Baptist.  This feast day happens to be our parish feast day, and St. John's bold example is never more needed and applicable than it is today.  I never tire of hearing about his fascinating life and earthly ministry.  May God have mercy on us, through his mighty intercessions! 

 

2011, All but Everything

2011 is, as Joseph would say, "All done." I can't believe another year is over and out. It was a blur, from beginning to end, and I didn't take much time to journal, blog, or reflect, in general. Which is too bad, because I think I really need the outlet.

Goals for the New Year?

* Say "NO!" to fear
It seems ever since I had Joe, I've experienced a lot of fear and anxiety. His birth was very fast, but not really in a "merciful" way, but in a terrifyingly fast-my-brain-can't-keep-up-with-my-body- way. It was strange. Then he was born and didn't make a peep... he had a perfect APGAR, but I was still blown away by his quietness. Then, on Day 3 of his life, the midwife came for a home visit and grew worried by his low heart rate. She had me hurry to the pediatrician, "just to be safe." I cried maniacally the entire drive, while reading the Paraklesis service. Thanks be to God, our pediatrician checked him out and reassured us that he was as healthy as he was handsome.

Add on an endless string of sicknesses (you name it, we had it-- including my wee babe), a move, and my first-born starting school last January... you could say my Mommy Nerves were adequately rattled. My panic-ridden mind was constantly expecting the worst. It isn't until now that I'm realizing these intense thoughts of fear do NOT have to enter into my mind and heart. Thanks be to God-- and with His help-- I do have control over them... instead of the reverse.

There is a popular bumper sticker that says, "Do not believe everything you think." I saw it on Saturday, and though I'd seen it many times before, it caused me to simultaneously chuckle and open my eyes at my own struggles. We are blessed with an intellect, and we do have to make judgments on certain things. But when it comes to the whims, feelings, fears and impulses that dart though my mind at lightening speed; I don't need to stop and give heed to each and every one of them. I can give it to God! It sounds so cliche, but it is so freeing.


And so, back to my resolutions...

Say no to fear. Choose Christ's peace, regardless of my surroundings and the state of the world.

Live in the Moment. Stop fantasizing about the "ifs and whens" of the future... the "next" house, the next job, the next purchase. This is tough! I can't tell you how many times I've driven past others' houses, from charming craftsman-style homes to sweet, tiny bungalows, to even the simplest of apartments, thinking: I wish I lived there. Anywhere but my own home, with the too-small kitchen and the stained carpets and the single-paned windows and the second-hand furniture. Isn't it funny how you're much quicker to overlook the imperfections of someone else's home, but the ones in your own home drive you nuts and keep you from joy and gratitude? Lord have mercy.

Back to Earth, Xenia. I get distracted easily. I need to work on continually calling on God and asking myself, "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?"

Use up fabric in my stash and use patterns I haven't used yet

Sew some long skirts and some blouses (I could have a closet full of impractical dresses, but I actually need some seperates, which isn't as thrilling, for some reason).

Cut back on thrift store outings. It pains me to think of how much money I've probably wasted by "saving money" at thrift stores!

Get rid of clutter and, on a regular basis, commit to organizing and x re-organizing the house. Even if the house gets crazy-messy again and again, to get back on the proverbial horse and keep at it. Cutting back on thrifting should aid in the "junk acquisition" department. Fortunately Job is just as motivated to accomplish this, if not moreso. He got a good start on hoeing out junk and taking it to Goodwill over the holiday break.

Take more photos. Thanks to some commission work, I was able to get a new camera. It's amazing how taking photos and reflecting on them as the months and years go by help give perspective on my life and the many blessings I have.

Draw/Paint my kid's portraits and frame them. If I were to wake up blind tomorrow morning, I think I'd regret not painting my kids' portraits the most. They are my real "works of art!"

Quilt, quilt, quilt! Do you know how many of my friends are having babies is 2012? EIGHT. I think that's a record! Needless to say, it will be a busy year for quilting :)
Invite people over more. This is a hard one, especially when you already battle over-comparativeness and fear rejection.... or, if you just have three kids five and under with unpredictable moods that can potentially cause a lot of embarrassment. Lord have mercy! I shouldn't be so prideful. My aunt wrote a book, Table Life, and in it she encourages readers to practice the art of hospitality, in whatever capacity you are able. Whether you use paper cups and serve leftovers with love, or go "All out" with your good china and dining finery. It is a very good and encouraging read, I recommend it! And not just because my Aunt is awesome :)


Work on my posture. Seeing the above picture of me and and my kids, I reminded that my posture leaves much to be desired! :)

Persist in the spiritual life and, hopefully grow closer to Christ. Work on being punctual to church services. Read more spiritual books, and maybe take more time to write poetry and reflect.

I'm sure I could think of more, but I'd better tune into reality now.

Christ is Born, Glorify Him! I hope your new year has gotten off to a terrific start!

Good intentions

Today I woke up, started the day as usual. Job took the kids to school (HURRAH! I'm the luckiest woman in the world), and I fed Joe his breakfast, which oftentimes looks something like a three-course meal, topped off with a large portion of my own breakfast. *sigh* Such is the life of a mom.

Then I actually got PRODUCTIVE, folks! I decided to fix our living room icon corner/ bookshelf. I took down all of the books, read and unread, that belong to other people. I stuck post-its on them, with the names of their respective owners and I'm determined to return them! Then I plucked books we've never read off of the shelves, and I put them in a bag to sell at our local bookstore. And I even did it! After picking up Susy, we went to the bookstore, and I sold some books. Don't ask me which ones, though, okay? After sharing my accomplishment with my dear hubby....well, let's just say I *might* or might not have to return tomorrow to try and get a book or two back. Gulp. Good intentions, right? I tried.

Because I was clearing out my bookshelves, I became engrossed with a book I hadn't read before. Just as I was about to chuck it, I gave it one more glance-over, and I was hooked. So hooked that I lost track of time, and I was late for picking up Susy at preschool. I felt terrible. I still feel terrible, actually. If this were just a one-time event, I wouldn't feel so bad. But being on time is a huge struggle for me.

So it was a busy day, and I can't believe that it's already 10:30 pm. It was nice to have a break from sewing or obsessing about sewing today, though. My house can only handle so much neglect, afterall. Ick.

I was hoping to finish the dreaded jumpers I've been hacking away at for the past two (three) weeks. But my energy is dwindling.... You see, I had this great idea that I'd sew Vasi's school uniforms this year. I made her blouses and two skirts for school, and they're worn just about every day. So, two months later, it's high time I have something else added to her uniform repertoire, right? The jumpers are made out of the same navy stretch twill as her skirts, but the pattern is so nit-picky and scattered... sort of tricky to follow. I haven't had much success with the Project Runway pattern line by Simplicity. I keep making really dumb mistakes, and my motivation has slid a great deal. But, they are almost done... so I can't quit now, right? I did get a confidence boost when I saw some Lands End-brand school uniform jumpers in Sears yesterday, and realized mine didn't look too shabby in comparison.

I might need some more (stevia-sweetened) vanilla tapioca to get me motivated, though...

I wonder if I'm growing...

This boy is getting big! At 16 months, he's strong enough to stand on his own... but he still uses a wall or table to lean on. He just needs a little more confidence. It won't be long, though, and then he won't just be standing, but walking. Here he is, testing his courage at the top of the stairs. What can I say? This kid likes to take big risks. It's a good thing I found him before he took another step (literally).
And this one? She's a bona-fide preschooler now. It did feel a little strange, sending my 3 year old to preschool. I had never planned to do so, initially. Afterall, I listened to Dr. Laura solidly for the first half of my mothering years (I stopped because some of the content is, I believe, unsuitable for "little listeners," and I only listened to it in the car when I was with the kids). But we thought we'd give it a shot, knowing full-well that we can always change our mind. So far, though, so good. She only goes half-days, and she seems to like it, more or less (in other words, she doesn't throw a fit at drop-off in the morning). Fortunately she's in a great class, in a very familiar environment, with kids she's known just about all her life.


And THIS one! She's a big kindergartener now! Not only that, but she fearlessly decided to ride a pony recently, while visiting our koumbardes'. She did great, too! Job and I were very impressed, especially as she usually veers on the side caution with most new things. In addition to adjusting to full-day kindergarten (yikes! I know... another adjustment for "mama", too), she's growing so much. In fact, yesterday we realized she could reach the kitchen faucet all on her own! This is a huge, particularly sentimental milestone, especially since we've been fans of this Raffi song since she was a wee baby.


I'm so thankful for my three gifts from God! I can't believe they are growing so quickly.

Please excuse the poor-quality pictures! We're making do with our phone camera, but I'm hoping to acquire a better point-and-shoot very soon.

Reminder

This was an apple from our fruit bowl. I picked it up to slice for the kiddos, and I was startled to see this cross imprinted into it! Strangely, I didn't notice any damaged spots or creases on it when I had purchased it just a few days earlier. Regardless of what "caused" it, it's a reminder of God's love, even in the small things. How often I forget!

Lent has been a doozy, not so much because of fasting or services, but because of that ever-persistent, nagging thing that some refer to as growth. I'm a creature of habit, and I like my sins the way they are-- I don't need to be aware of any more of mine, thankyouverymuch. Lord have mercy! I have to stop beating myself up, and I think He keeps trying to remind me, too. All pain and suffering (or simply just striving and enduring) is temporal, and invites us to draw closer to the One who loves us.

And next week is Holy Week! May it be blessed, for you and yours. If you're needing any Pascha cards, I have replenished the Etsy stock.

Forgiveness!

Time to bring out the Lent calendar! V. and S., Lent 2010 (one of my favorite pics -- their grins are HUGE!).

This afternoon, I smelled it. The faint, burning smell emitted from the motor of my little, over-worked food processor. It had been a while since I used it, you see, because I only really bring it out during Lent. Lent; when there are veggies to chop for minestrone soup, and garbanzo beans to puree for hummus... just about every day.

My pantry is once again stocked with garbanzo beans and rice milk. The crisper is inhabited by vegetables. After 18 years of extreme picky-eating, I've spent the past decade slowly tasting the rewards of my late-blooming taste buds. It seems that every fasting season, I get acquainted with a new-to-me vegetable (cabbage? Awesome!) or dish (curried black-eyed peas? Yes!), hence opening up new recipe options and solutions. I have 25 dishes planned out, with extra room for repeat dishes, and a church scrip card (fundraiser gift card) for Baja Fresh for those evenings after services where I outsource my beans-and-rice-production in exchange for $2.

For the Orthodox Church, Great Lent begins this Sunday with Forgiveness Vespers. A chance to ask forgiveness from our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Our parish always holds it right after Liturgy, in place of Sunday school, which seems to yield a higher participation rate. This is good! The more people I can ask forgiveness from, the better.

Most years I really drag my feet with this service... I mean sure, it always feels good afterwards, but the hours leading up to it are filled with anxiety and drudgery. I mean, the kids are gonna go crazy... I'm tired and hungry... Maybe that's just me?

Last year during the forgiveness vespers, an individual specifically said, "Please forgive me for anything I've said...." which I felt was a rather poignant statement. It obviously has struck me enough for me to remember it, a year later. Knowing this person's particular struggles, etc., at the time I reacted not unlike the Publican; I raised my eyebrows, and perhaps felt a wee bit justified... "Well, well, well..."

However, I've only recently realized that my own mouth is a hundred times worse. I, who know better, blurt out whatever comes into my head. I aim for laughs, I aim for recognition, I aim to build myself up. But my boastings and blubberings are confusing and foolish. Gossip...! ACK! I won't even get started. My blog, at times, has been a platform for this vanity and looseness of tongue... which, whether small or large, produce ripple effects in others. It's amazing how the key-stroke instantaneousness of the internet only intensifies the ripple effect of sin.

So this year, I feel like shouting PLEASE FORGIVE ME! To my brothers and sisters, to my fellow parishioners, to YOU, friends.

So, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! For things I've said, for things I wasn't clear about, for anything I've done this past year, or even 10 years ago... 20 years ago (if you've known me that long... and if you have, then please forgive me all the more!), for poking fun, for holding grudges, and for failing to show you Christ in my words and actions.

I'm glad it's Lent; I'm thankful that the Church has set aside this time to slow down and focus on Christ and everything He did for us. I'm glad that it starts with a public plea for forgiveness, not just from God, but from others. For isn't it through learning how to love our fellow brothers and sisters, that we learn how to grow closer to Christ?

Wordy Wednesday or My Life is Lunch or Don't feed the animals

A "light" toothpick lunch. A big winner,
but I say "light" because, of course, they were
"still hungry" afterwards. Sheesh.

Greetings friends, fellow bloggers, lurkers, SAHMs. It's been a while now, hasn't it? Here I am, slurping on the remains of my "morning coffee" (at 12:30, no less). AND... I have to go make lunch. Haven't I already made lunch today? Seems that my life is lunch.

I'm realizing the genius in sit-down meals. Of course, our family does sit-down dinners together every evening. This is a no-brainer. I grew up with it, and I never envisioned my own family doing anything different. Now I know how busy life can get, and how easy it would be just to snack our way through a hodge-podge 'serve yourself" type of dinner. Trust me, we do experience that every so often, I'm not perfect. But breakfast and lunch were never a sit-down-together event. However, I'm starting to realize that that's the ONLY way I'll ever get to eat breakfast or lunch. It's so easy to slap out some sandwiches or hot dogs and serve the kiddoes and then run off to accomplish something while they stuff their cute little faces. Unfortunately, I'll never, ever eat a square meal this way. Instead I'll wash the dishes and eat a cookie or consider a second cup of coffee my lunch. Ha! Horrible, horrible, I know. I'm going to try to make an effort to make enough food for myself and actually sit down with my girls while they are content and filling their tummies and free of NEED for ten minutes.

Novel idea, I know. :)

Why are my kids always hungry? Really? I make them food constantly. I try to limit my food-prep to three hearty, filling, stick-to-your-ribs kind of meals a day to eliminate constant snacking. It drives me bonkers when, after making them a considerably large breakfast, they are already complaining of rumbling bellies. I don't get it. Really, I think they are just bored. This is frustrating. Oh, that I had my act together and made life interesting and fun for everyone. Sorry to complain... I guess I see where they get it now. V. needs pre-school. I have no talent for homeschooling. At least, that's how I feel now. If we move, she'll get to start preschool at our parish. Yikes... that's a whole other blog post, thought! Whatever God wills.

In other news, I've been sewing a lot. Okay, maybe that's not "news." As you know, I took up sewing about a year and half ago. Well, when I was in the third grade, our class did a unit on learning how to sew (just hand-sewing). It was really interesting, I don't think that's completely normal for third graders to do. I remember making small hand-stitched pillows for my friend, Amy :) Then, in the seventh grade I took a sewing class that was offered in school that introduced me to using a sewing machine and some of the basics. I liked that class a lot. I think I took a few more classes. Freshman year I took another one (with Amy! hehehe), and even made a dress. But after that, I never got around to sewing.

In the winter of 2008, I started hand-stitching a few Christmas gifts, just for fun. My friend Heather came over and saw me laboring over my work, and said, "I have a sewing machine, you can borrow it." And, well, the rest in history.

Like any hobby, it's hard not to get too obsessed and distracted from real life. Back to earth, XK, put down the rotary cutter and back away slowly. *sigh* But, when I do get the chance to sew, it's very relaxing, challenging (in a good way),productive and rewarding. Sort of like a giant puzzle. As my friend R., put it, it's actually something that you can FINISH, unlike anything else that has to be done around the house. Hehehe. Right now I'm finishing up the Lady Grey coat from Colette patterns. It's probably the most challenging project I've worked on, and yet, not impossible or frustrating at all. In case you haven't already picked upon it, I'm a HUGE fan of the Colette patterns, they're so easy to follow. And no, I don't get paid or compensated at all to say that! :D

Well, it's been a long, long time since I've blogged. There's a lot I would love to blog about; our little family whereabouts and updates, adorable baby pictures and milestones, the patented XK rants, reflections and pretentious pontifications. More will come later, Lord willing, if I have the time and energy. Both are in short supply these days, I tell ya. But we're all swimming along just fine, me and my sweet Job and our amazing three (THREE! I say that in astonishment and complete and utter joy) children. Glory to God, despite my own day-to-day shortcomings and imperfections, we truly are doing well.

Talk to you later!

A little update now and then never hurt, eh?

My big 4-year old, working hard on her letters


Well, well, well, it's been quiet around here lately, hasn't it?

Seems I have plenty of time to keep up with all of the blogs on my rss feed, and YET, each time I think of updating my own blog, I think of a million other things I could/ should be doing. Like now? I should be assembling baby announcements to be mailed tomorrow, and making rice pudding. Priorities, priorities; I know.

In case you were wondering, that matryoshka doll pictured in the previous post was a gift from a friend. It's actually an adorable set of measuring cups!

Several of the inhabitants of this home are fighting a bug. Job's been bitten the hardest, with V. running second. S. has been overtaken with a sensational irritability that seems more related with her "being two" than any conspicuous illness. Boy, does she know how to BELLOW. That's the only way I can describe her way of crying: BELLOWING. Deep, low, gutsy BELLOWS that probably echo throughout our neighborhood. If you know S. in real life, you'd probably never guess she could throw such a tantrum, but don't let that cute, big-eyed sweetness fool you. As I always say, never trust the shy ones-- they're always the craziest! :D hehe.

And, after the cleaning/ organizing tirade earlier this month, I've enjoyed the order, yet have experienced a bit of relapse. Oh well. Three steps forward, two steps back. That seems to be the rule of thumb in my life. I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, so I'm only now learning how to appreciate ANY improvement instead of griping about my inability to succeed, succeed, succeed, in impressive leaps and bounds. I once came across a saying about how Satan laughs at the person who takes a hatchet and plans to chop down the whole forest in a day, yet trembles at the person who is prepared to work slowly, steadfastly, carefully over a long period of time.

Sicknesses aside, everyone in the family is doing fairly well. Little J. is SUCH a sweet and mellow boy. He is so very loved! And, he is a chunk! We're looking forward to his baptism next month. Being a mom of three is a lot of hard work, even with a super-mellow baby. Only now am I starting to wonder how moms of more than three do it. Seriously. I look at my three, and I think: some moms have double this, or triple! Incredible. Hats off! Then again, I've also heard that "once you have three, anything beyond isn't much different." Hahaha :)

Lastly, our dear cat Midnight is no longer with us. She was last seen about 2 weeks before J. was born (so, early May). It's very sad. We don't know where she is; if she got "adopted" by another family in the neighborhood, or if she died somehow. We miss her a lot, especially now that we realize she probably isn't coming back at all. Poor Midi. :(

I don't mean to leave on a Debbie Downer note, especially since things really are going well for us, all things considered. Thanks be to God, for all things! I hope you are well.