2011, All but Everything

2011 is, as Joseph would say, "All done." I can't believe another year is over and out. It was a blur, from beginning to end, and I didn't take much time to journal, blog, or reflect, in general. Which is too bad, because I think I really need the outlet.

Goals for the New Year?

* Say "NO!" to fear
It seems ever since I had Joe, I've experienced a lot of fear and anxiety. His birth was very fast, but not really in a "merciful" way, but in a terrifyingly fast-my-brain-can't-keep-up-with-my-body- way. It was strange. Then he was born and didn't make a peep... he had a perfect APGAR, but I was still blown away by his quietness. Then, on Day 3 of his life, the midwife came for a home visit and grew worried by his low heart rate. She had me hurry to the pediatrician, "just to be safe." I cried maniacally the entire drive, while reading the Paraklesis service. Thanks be to God, our pediatrician checked him out and reassured us that he was as healthy as he was handsome.

Add on an endless string of sicknesses (you name it, we had it-- including my wee babe), a move, and my first-born starting school last January... you could say my Mommy Nerves were adequately rattled. My panic-ridden mind was constantly expecting the worst. It isn't until now that I'm realizing these intense thoughts of fear do NOT have to enter into my mind and heart. Thanks be to God-- and with His help-- I do have control over them... instead of the reverse.

There is a popular bumper sticker that says, "Do not believe everything you think." I saw it on Saturday, and though I'd seen it many times before, it caused me to simultaneously chuckle and open my eyes at my own struggles. We are blessed with an intellect, and we do have to make judgments on certain things. But when it comes to the whims, feelings, fears and impulses that dart though my mind at lightening speed; I don't need to stop and give heed to each and every one of them. I can give it to God! It sounds so cliche, but it is so freeing.


And so, back to my resolutions...

Say no to fear. Choose Christ's peace, regardless of my surroundings and the state of the world.

Live in the Moment. Stop fantasizing about the "ifs and whens" of the future... the "next" house, the next job, the next purchase. This is tough! I can't tell you how many times I've driven past others' houses, from charming craftsman-style homes to sweet, tiny bungalows, to even the simplest of apartments, thinking: I wish I lived there. Anywhere but my own home, with the too-small kitchen and the stained carpets and the single-paned windows and the second-hand furniture. Isn't it funny how you're much quicker to overlook the imperfections of someone else's home, but the ones in your own home drive you nuts and keep you from joy and gratitude? Lord have mercy.

Back to Earth, Xenia. I get distracted easily. I need to work on continually calling on God and asking myself, "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?"

Use up fabric in my stash and use patterns I haven't used yet

Sew some long skirts and some blouses (I could have a closet full of impractical dresses, but I actually need some seperates, which isn't as thrilling, for some reason).

Cut back on thrift store outings. It pains me to think of how much money I've probably wasted by "saving money" at thrift stores!

Get rid of clutter and, on a regular basis, commit to organizing and x re-organizing the house. Even if the house gets crazy-messy again and again, to get back on the proverbial horse and keep at it. Cutting back on thrifting should aid in the "junk acquisition" department. Fortunately Job is just as motivated to accomplish this, if not moreso. He got a good start on hoeing out junk and taking it to Goodwill over the holiday break.

Take more photos. Thanks to some commission work, I was able to get a new camera. It's amazing how taking photos and reflecting on them as the months and years go by help give perspective on my life and the many blessings I have.

Draw/Paint my kid's portraits and frame them. If I were to wake up blind tomorrow morning, I think I'd regret not painting my kids' portraits the most. They are my real "works of art!"

Quilt, quilt, quilt! Do you know how many of my friends are having babies is 2012? EIGHT. I think that's a record! Needless to say, it will be a busy year for quilting :)
Invite people over more. This is a hard one, especially when you already battle over-comparativeness and fear rejection.... or, if you just have three kids five and under with unpredictable moods that can potentially cause a lot of embarrassment. Lord have mercy! I shouldn't be so prideful. My aunt wrote a book, Table Life, and in it she encourages readers to practice the art of hospitality, in whatever capacity you are able. Whether you use paper cups and serve leftovers with love, or go "All out" with your good china and dining finery. It is a very good and encouraging read, I recommend it! And not just because my Aunt is awesome :)


Work on my posture. Seeing the above picture of me and and my kids, I reminded that my posture leaves much to be desired! :)

Persist in the spiritual life and, hopefully grow closer to Christ. Work on being punctual to church services. Read more spiritual books, and maybe take more time to write poetry and reflect.

I'm sure I could think of more, but I'd better tune into reality now.

Christ is Born, Glorify Him! I hope your new year has gotten off to a terrific start!