"There are two special holidays: Lent, Christmas and Valentine's!" -- V. 2/12
Okay, so her numbers are a bit off. Hehehe. Lately we've been sharing with V. what Lent is all about, and how it is a special time of year as we pray and prepare for Pascha. As a family, we kicked off the Lenten season with Forgiveness Vespers at church today. What a treasure, to have in our Church calendar a time set apart to embrace each and every individual in the sanctuary, to look them in the eye and to ask specifically for forgiveness. It is exhausting and freeing at the same time.
Over the past few days I've acquired a long list of of "goals" for Lent. I say "goals", because I thought they'd be edifying and worthy of my time. But as the list of tasks and chores and plans got longer and longer, I realized quickly that this laundry list of goals was instead making Lent a high-octane frenzy of activity. Distractions! Hmm. Time to pare down, again. To stop and slow down. "Lent is about making more time for prayer, for God, for making services and self-emptying." I remind myself, over and over.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about perserverance. Endurance. And how it is, oftentimes, the single thread that we find ourselves hanging by when adversity seems to steer us off course and over a cliff. Perserverance. Pure and simple-- not much else to it. When nothing else makes sense, when confusion surrounds us and clouds our thoughts and when "letting go" makes a much saner and easier shortcut... it's perservance, the white-knuckling, insane (by the world's standards) grasp on our Faith, our un-breaking gaze on the face of Christ, that gets us through the difficult times.
It is probably unnecessary to revisit the fact that we are, indeed, living in uncertain times that only seems to get crazier by the day. I see brothers and sisters becoming disillusioned, disengaged, disconnected more and more. But as I looked at each individual today during Forgiveness Vespers, I saw faces that I've seen for months, years, some consistenly over the past 7 years. For some, the newness of Orthodoxy, the "fire," has perhaps waned a bit through the years. What next, then? Well, we stick around. We pray. We hang on, and we perservere. Where infatuation once was, now lies something deeper and stiller. We perservere, and are changed, drawn closer to Christ, because of it. May we keep our Faith firmly in our grasp, even if only by a fingernail. May we strive towards Christ and keep our hearts warm towards Him and to one another.
So, I'll take the next forty days to look inwardly. To take the time and shed light, hopefully, on the ugliest corners of my heart... the shortcomings that I gladly overlook. Please forgive me, a sinner, and have a blessed forty days! Kali Sarakosti!
10 comments:
Wow Katie! That is so beautiful and inspiring!! Thank you so much!
Thank you dear daughter- I echo
Christiana's comment!
Forgive me, a sinner! May God forgive us all!
I, like you, already have to keep on reminding myself that Lent is about the inner life changing much more than the external scheduling. And that requires more time than any other undertaking. I pray God will give us insight to our own hearts, even the parts we'd cringe at seeing.
Blessed Lent!
Amen! What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this! May we all have a blessed journey to Pascha.
Carrie
So true Katie.
Kali Sarakosti!
Fantastic post, dear Katie! V is so adorable.
And, forgive me, my sister.
Katie, this is a very heartfelt post! I especially love the second to last paragraph...it puts this season in perspective for me. Believe me, I struggle with the same things, my Lenten list is long-and I had to remind myself what really matters...Prayer and being in the presence of Christ. It is almost as though you grabbed me by the ears and turned my head to look up at our Savior.
Thank you, and forgive me, as I forgive you.
God bless you all,
Aunt Helen
Beautiful post. Thank you.
Having been raised in the O. Church, I sometimes feel I never did have that infatuation period as someone who converted. On the other hand, I will never forget the year I really 'owned' my Orthodoxy as a young adult. That Lent was the most fantastic journey! I revisit that spiritually and get a mini-high every Forgiveness Sunday -- like your little V. -- feeling the giddiness and excitement as we begin to prepare for the best holiday ever.
Thank you, Xenia, for sharing!
Beautifully said.
May you have a blessed Lent.
Thank you for writing this! There is a poem that my brother loved as a child called "keep a-going". Many times I feel as if that is all I do- just keep a-going(ing). Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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