Xenia Kathryn

Vasilia has been a bit of a stinker lately. Last night she kept waking up and we just didn't know what to do with her. Lock her in her room? Ignore her? Join her in relentless sobbing and just let it all out?

While the options swirled in my sleepy brain, I was reminded of the brochure I'd read at the funeral home on children's grieving. It said that children might act out, lose sleep and have bad bowel movements. I was told that Vasilia would be too young to understand, but her behavior lately is telling me otherwise. She knows something is different. She knows that Grandpa Larry isn't here anymore.

“Grandpa Larry” was Job's dad. He passed away last week. It was rather sudden, even though his health had been poor for the past decade. We knew he could “go at any time” so to speak, but we were expecting a build-up of some kind. Oh well. Sometimes softly and swiftly is a mercy, and we're all thankful for that.

His memorial service will be this Saturday at the local Friend's (Quaker) church, where Job's family goes.

In the mean time, we're scrambling to cope... finding the balance between re-entering the rhythms and routines of life and taking time to process, breath, talk, cry. Vasi's world has been thrown off-kilter... again (we thought life would slow down after our move AND the new baby). And our lives are-off-kilter too, as someone so hugely important and so very loved, is no longer here. We've lost a Dad, a Grandpa, a Father-in-law.

Job and I are so thankful we were able to live nearby these past few months. The past few weeks have been dotted with leisurely walks to my in-laws' house, watching NBA playoffs, eating dinner, hanging out. We are especially grateful for a nice Father's day celebration with Larry.

This blog has always been a good outlet for me. I may or may not use it to write/share more reflections about Larry. We'll see. Over the years, I've been touched by your kindness and encouragement. Please keep Larry in your prayers. Please pray for my mother-in-law and for Job and his brother and sister. Please keep me, Xenia, a sinner, in your prayers. So far God has bestowed an immeasurable amount of grace, without which I would be feeling very overwhelmed and lost.

O Heavenly King, Comforter Spirit of Truth, Who art everywhere present and fillest all things, Treasury of good things and Giver of life: Come and dwell in us, and cleanse us of all impurity, and save our souls, O Good One.