One of the more awkward office scenarios is when you happen to do a favor for someone that you don’t know very well, and they say,
“Hey thanks, can I buy you a coffee in return?”
You say, “Oh no thanks, I’ve already had one today.”
They say, “Oh please, you’ve helped me out so much, let me get you something.”
You, remembering your ascetic limit of one cup a day, and knowing how your body would react to two cups of coffee, decline once more,
“No, REALLY, I’m FINE.”
Generic office guy says, “Well, let me get you a coffee some other time, I really appreciate this.”
Knowing your fondness for coffee, and your limited monetary resources, you realize that a free coffee would be nice. So you thank him (and pray that he isn’t hitting on you) and take him up on his proposed offer that most likely will never, ever materialize.
I mean, honestly, as much as I love coffee—especially free coffee—I will never, ever say to a practical stranger, “So… how ‘bout you buy me a cup o’joe?” Even if the offering party insists with an edge of obsession in his/her voice--“NO… you MUST let me… I am INDEBTED TO YOU FOR STAPLING THESE DOCUMENTS TOGETHER!”—I’m not going to approach them the next day like an old pal and tell them to buy me a latte for some menial favor I did that they probably won’t even remember.
Well, the truth is that this happened to me yesterday… and today I could really use that free coffee. What a fool I was for believing him! He’s probably lead many astray with his false coffee offers… Oh well, he kind of scares me.
4 comments:
Hmm...
As a guy I think I can say with some confidence that yes indeed, this sure sounds like someone asking for a date....
Don't let Job find out! :)
Karl,
At times like this I wish I did have a big fat diamond ring to fend off the coffee weirdos (Oh Job...!).
The other option is the request a triple shot, venti, with double caramel and whip, along with a bagel w/cream cheese.
He might be so repulsed by the idea of having to spend $7 on a "coffee" that he'll leave you (and your high maintenance coffee habits) alone.
Or you could have Job take a bat to his knees. I've heard that works at keeping the potential suitors at bay.
Well I got my bat, where is this guy? I'll make sure to take him out when he has a coffee, then relay the goods to you :P
-Job, the hitman
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