I couldn't help but notice that her post inspired plenty of comments from women, mostly mothers, but not all, who shared their own painful "mean girl" experiences, whether via their daughters or from their own childhood. It made me stop and think of my own childhood and the "mean girls" I'd encountered. It made me think of my own daughter-- how will she handle such situations? How will I handle such situations? Needless to say, Chris' post struck a delicate chord in many of her readers.
I feel fortunate to have had very few soul-scarring experiences with mean girls. Why is this, I wonder? Did I just luck out?
Maybe it was because my older sisters were always there to defend and look out for me. Christy especially was always ready to pounce on anyone who tried to pick on me.
Maybe it was because, even from a young age, I was acutely sensitive to the actions and personalities of others, and sniffing out and avoiding mean people was pretty easy. That's where being introverted and observant works to one's benefit. I was pretty happy-go-lucky, and I could feign "aloofnessness" pretty well, so that I didn't threaten or attract negative attention from the mean girls too much.
Of course, there were a few times that I was picked on, but nobody bullied me consistently or hurt me too deeply.
But what about Vasilia? Will she have the same luck that I did? I'm really not too overly worried about her at this point, but I may be singing a tune similar to Chris' when and if she should ever get picked on. While I know overprotectiveness won't work forever, I will do my best to "over-prevent;" I want to teach her to be kind to everyone. I want her to be forgiving. I want her to have a sense of humor, to laugh and shrug and move on with life. I want her to lift her antennae and "feel out" meanies, and then turn the opposite direction.
Girls are complicated, eh? Oh Panaghia, pray to God on our behalf.
4 comments:
the hard part is, girls can be arbitrarily mean. It can be that they don't like someone's hair, or the way they walk, or dress, or any number of things. It can also be dependent upon what school they go to. Keep praying that she won't be picked on, but if she does, you'll be right there to listen and possibly act if neccessary.
I don't have too many memories of mean girls from early on...junior high was a different story.
I attended a catholic school where there was one class for each grade so you stayed with the same group of kids all the way through. By the time boys and girls started noticing eachother, things seemed to get icky. I totally remember being hurt and hurting. And I remember LONG talks with my parents about what was going on...I think that really helped me to "shrug it off" and learn to choose the route of kindness like you mentioned.
Seems like as a parent OPEN DIALOGUE will be key with any situation...tricky part will be keeping it open.
Oh Lord have mercy!
And thanks for the link to taht blog...I'd never read it. Good stuff :)
Hi friend! :)
Mike and I finally got internet in our apartment, so I'm back. Good to be reading your blog again :).
-Heather
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