When I was little, I loved ghost stories... the creepier the better. But these days, something else get's my heart pounding...
Imagine being in a car, in the middle of nowhere, in the dark. You're in between destinations, driving through some remote farmland late at night. In the car with you are two on-fire, zealot Evangelicals who are grilling you--mercilessly--about your Faith. What started out as polite questioning has somehow snowballed into a very uncomfortable interrogation. You feel cornered, and although you're being asked a million questions, the interoggators are not listening to a word you're saying. The only words they pick up on are the controversial ones... "saints," "sacraments," "icons," "one Church"; more questioning ensues.
Well, it happened last night. Everything started out innocently enough-- Job and I were driving home from visiting friends, and with us were two others, a couple from George Fox University.
Many times I've been asked about Orthodoxy, and many times I've shared about my journey. But something happened as we were driving home, and the questions got a little more intense. Now, I'm not afraid of intensity. I won't back down. It's just that the questions got a little less polite... they were asked in a condesceding tone. Now, I'm used to folks not agreeing with me. I can handle that. But's it's just plain rude for someone to pretend to be "interested" in your personal journey of faith, and then suddenly use it as a leeway to corner you and interrogate you about your beliefs.
All I could do was pray for the right words, and ask for God's guidance. Job, fortunately, was with me there in the car... so I wasn't alone. But my heart was pounding under the pressure. I don't know if you've ever been cornered like that, or felt trapped. But there is most certainly a strain of Evangelical protestants who think it's perfectly fine to manipulate and pounce on you as a means of evangelizing (Mandy's Moore's character Hilary Faye from "Saved", comes to mind). Lord have mercy.
Now all I can do is pray that some how, some way, a seed might have been sown. I hope that the heatedness of her questioning was borne out of a yearning heart, not simply a desire to cleverly win an argument.
I'm pretty sure a blog isn't the appropriate place for discussing this. A lot of what I'm saying is, I admit, out of hurt feelings and bruised pride. But it's hard for me to shake it off. It was a very jarring experience. I still feel a bit shaken up. Perhaps because it reminded me to never be off my guard. To never "slide" into nominalism, and forget why it is I do what I do and believe what I believe. It also helps remind me of Christ's love, and His patience and endurance.
Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy.
11 comments:
It is also a very good example of the judgmentalism that is running rampant in evangelical churches...all in the name of missionary work.
It sounds like the stuff of which nightmares or horror films are made ! :-(
It is different if someone honestly wants to understand what we believe and why, isn`t it ?
But the barrage of questions just designed to dominate/intimidate/humiliate/ridicule is **very** stressful.
Sometimes the "heatedness" of the questions are born out of a heart- that is frustrated with their own inward unanswered questions. Does that make sense to you?
It is uncomfortable to be faced with a "Christianity" so foreign to yours..... and to see fruit in someone else's life that one does not personally experience.
By the intensity, tone and lack of respect and humility shown- it sounds like someone wanted to win a battle- instead of honestly attempting to understand where you are coming from. I've been there many times- and it is an uncomfortble place.... to be misunderstood. My challenge is always - how do I allow God to heal and transform the negative feelings into- holy action? mom
Philippa and Elizabeth, thanks for your comments. It's good to know I'm not the only one who has come across this. I have many protestant friends who respect me enough to not "grill" me alive about my faith. I guess this whole experience just came as a shock.
Mom,
Yes, I understand how someone's personal frustration with their spiritual life might spur them on to a heated debate. If nothing else, I hope my actions and words were pleasing to God.
*sigh* we shall see.
Your mom's post brought tears to my eyes, how beautiful is that!
As a pretty non-confrontational person myself, it sounds horribly frustrating and annoying, but I think you did a fabulous job and that God worked through you!
Thank you Mimi for your kind words of encouragement. Yes, I must say myself that my mom is very insightful :)
As an Evangelical who's been nipped by Roman Catholic attack dogs on webforums time and again, I can definitely relate to this story...
Rhoblogy,
Yes, I'm sorry to say the door swings both ways.
Now I just hope and pray that I never came across like that to anyone else... Lord have mercy.
Thanks for your comment!
dang, that sounds like a nightmare. I hate that too; I seem to experience that a lot as a republican in the Portland Metro Area. "Evangelicals" have a pretty bad connotation with them these days it seems and I agree that it is because of argumentative people who penetrate further than what is polite and necessary. The idea of evangelism is beautiful and I don't like the pushy portrayal that some display. I just think its sad that beleivers feel the need to fight other beleivers! Its like saying "We both believe in The Lord, but I don't like the way you worship Him". Hopefully these people can learn to let others be. I'm sorry you had to feel attacked on a subject that should never be attacked. And I hope those people don't read this blog :D jk
~Amy
Been there. Thankfully, most of the conversations I have had have been with people who've asked, listened to my response, gone, "huh!" and left it at that...or asked another question.
Been grilled, though. People can be real jerks, sometimes. 'Specially "heresy-hunting" ex-Evangelical Orthodox converts. The shoe can go on the other foot, sadly.
Xenia - I think a blog is perfect place to discuss this and I totally identify with you and I am glad you were not alone in your experience. I am so happy you came on to my blog. I will come and see you now. I can totally relate to your experience. I have that when I go back into my former Pagan and Wiccan communities. They sure don't like me there, they sure are condescending. But I am brave and I strive to bring the light of Christ to them...I live with some Korean Protestant Evangelists...In my apartment community. They do not get it that I already have a religion, as my friend put it after church on Sunday.
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