I used to have a “little golden book” entitled Best Friends. It was about a little boy and a little girl who called themselves “the truest, bluest, stuck like the stickiest glue” best of friends. They were partners in crime and, of course, very loyal to one another. Also, one of my first “art” memories was when I was a four year old preschooler. In class, with a big, wobbly brush loaded with tempura paint as my guide, I made two yellow bubble people stuck together with big red smiles on their faces and red hats. I had my teacher title it, “Best Friends.”
Ever since I was young, I was enchanted with the idea of friendship. I had several friends throughout the years that followed, but only a select few were deemed my “best friends.” I clung to a “friendship creed” of my own, firmly stating “You cannot have more than one best friend.” To do so would be an action veering on apostasy. Yes, I took my friendships seriously.
Years passed, and by my teen-age years I loosened the reigns on my “one friend” policy. I had, in fact, a group of close friends, and life was good! But the high school years passed by, and I had to start a new life at college. Time would tell which friendships would endure, and which would not. The years also brought on a painful realization that in a way, my view of friendship was a bit lopsided: where I still attached the title “best friend” to certain individuals, time revealed that my affection was not returned. My friendships were no longer two-way streets, but one-way streets—with only my stagnant memories at the wheel. Weddings, birthdays and get-togethers simply reach my ears as yesterday’s news. On rare visits, photographs placed on refrigerators and bulletin boards did nothing but remind me I wasn’t invited.
This has all brought me to a standstill. I’ve battled with feelings of exclusion and isolation in the past, and it’s really nothing but a road to self-pity that I try to avoid. Of course, posting it on my blog for all of the world to see isn’t exactly a healthy remedy… but with a wedding on the horizon, it's naturally on my mind. Marriage, of course, is something that you want your dearest friends to be a part of… but I’m having some trouble figuring out who these “truest, bluest, stuck like the stickiest glue” friends are.
All I know is that on my wedding day, regardless of who my bridesmaids are, I will look into the eyes of my one and only; the best friend I’ve been waiting for my whole life. And of course, there is Christ, “the only Friend of man.”
1 comment:
this is Amy~
*sigh* friendship politics...they get the best of us all from time to time. The thing is that we are at a very transitional age. We were blessed with having truly great friends that lasted us from elementary school, Jr. high, and all the way through high school. We didn't have the backstabbing and the gossip (not too bad anyway)and the catfights that many adolescent female friendships go through. We also invested all of our quality time together in sharing our lives and talking to and supporting one another; not beer bonging at parties and dating each others boyfriends. So when we all went our separate ways, we didn't totally say goodbye, because we didn't have resentment toward each other, and didn't see why the friendships should end. We have all changed a lot though- and that's undeniable. I'm not going to name names, or point fingers...but with some old friends I hang out with from time to time it seems that the main thing we have in common is our past...and that if we were to have met yesterday we probably wouldn't even be friends (now you know I'm not talking about you, so don't even think that). So with that in mind...I guess I would say try not to get upset. I know its easy to get a little hurt or jealous; there have been many 'parties' that I haven't been invited to, and only hear about them later or see the pictures. At first, I think "well I wasn't invited"...and pout a bit. But then when I think about it, I'm not so sure it would have been that fun in the first place...and beyond that, how often do I call them up and invite them to do stuff?...
And you are 100% right in saying that soon enough you will look into the eyes of your true best friend. When you take away the romance and passion, you are looking at your best friend in the whole world...one that WILL last you forever and ever.
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