"Any work we do here on earth is God's work. However, we always work with reservation, without sincerity. Not only can God not bear that, but no human being can. We know that the universe belongs to God, that the Earth is God's planet, and that everything belongs to God, no matter what type of work we do."
+Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica
Wow! So sorry to drop off the face of the earth the past few weeks. But it's been a doozy of time over here for me, as I came down with something called I.T.P. (Idio Thrombocytopenia Purpura) over Labor Day weekend. To put it very generally, it's an autoimmune illness, where the body responds to a virus (or a drug/ medication) by eating up platelets instead of attacking the virus. I was frightened to find many dark, yucky bruises all over me in May, and I didn't know what was going on. After a simple blood draw and a visit to the doctor, I got a call from the doctor later saying I had the lowest platelet count she'd ever seen (13). Yikes.
Right now I am seeing a hematologist, and I've been on prednisone for the past 2 weeks. Yep. Not fun. Two weeks down, 6 more weeks to go. Sometimes I.T.P. can be a one-time "fluke" illness... other times, it ends up being a chronic issue. We don't know yet what "kind" I got, or whether or not it's here to "stay". I'm praying this will not be a life-long issue... but we will see.
I know this blog is pretty scattered. There isn't much of a focus-point. Family, motherhood, sewing, Faith/ Orthodox Christianity, recipes... the last thing this blog needs is a new "I'm sick, wanna read about it?" category. But I've been blogging here for about 9 years now, so I'm not gonna stop now :)
One thing I know is true, is that this whole thing has really made me stop in my tracks. Seems like I've been in "college mode" for the past 10+ years... late nights, lots of energy being put into projects and "burning the midnight oil." My diet has always been pretty hit-or-miss... a shmorgasborg of conscientious, organic meals, mixed with a generous smear of "WHO CARES" fast food fixes. Caffiene, sugar and carbs were my constant crutches. And since I was able to have 3 kids and lose the weight each time, I figured I was "healthy." But then I had sweet little Masha. Shortly after she was born, I turned 30, and I started to get the sinking feeling that my thirties would be a very different story. Time to take better care of myself, so that I can take the best possible care of my family. Perhaps it was God's voice saying this, because here I am, 6 months later and it couldn't be more true. Here I am, still 20 pounds over my normal weight (and the prednisone is NOT helping with weight loss) and struggling with a health issue.
Fortunately, I have a wonderful ring of support. Job helps remind me to get to bed on time. My sister Carrie is a nutrional therapist, and she has really helped me by answering questions, sending me helpful information and providing great nutritional insights into seeking better health. My parents and my other sister Christy have helped so much with childcare, and putting love and energy into my children on the days when I need to really rest. So you could say I am one grateful woman! I am not alone in this. Friends and church family have also leant so much support and shown so much care... I've been so touched. Thank you so much! God is good, even though I am so unworthy!
I'm working on changing my diet. For the past few weeks I've been gradually transferring over to the Paleo diet. I almost cringe writing that, because I know it's super "popular" now, and I'm not one for following food trends. But honestly, I know that my body needs this extra help right now, and it doesn't need anything that will add to the inflammation and imbalances I have. It's very hard for me to give up my crutches... I so look forward to any excuse for a pastry/ croissant/ sugary iced mocha... but I just can't do that any more. Since prednisone can be such a difficult drug (it raises blood sugar/ increases corisol/ cause mood swings), I find that a Paleo approach has helped moderate, just a bit, some of the negative side effects.
Again, all of this has been a huge wake- up call to seeing my own passions, my own short-sightedness in how I cater to my own self, instead of those around me. It is also a lesson in facing huge fears, because it truly is terrifying to say to God "Thy Will be done" and to actually MEAN it. Yikes! My faith is so imperfect-- what a humbling, scary and freeing realization. Lord Jesus Christ Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.
I could go on and on.... but I think I'll leave it at that for now :) Please keep me, Xenia, and my family, in your prayers! I hope that you are well, dear readers. Maybe next time, Lord willing, I can lighten up this space with some new sewing creations :) Don't worry, I'm really working on NOT staying up late sewing! However, if I do have the time and energy to eek something out, then it is a nice treat.
"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)
6 comments:
oh no! so sorry! that steroid is really tough ~ can cause huge hunger, you can feel ill and crazy anxious; or that's how it was for me when I had to have it.
So glad you have support for this!
It really changes a lot and is a huge learning curve to suddenly be sick.
Have added you to our prayer list.
So glad you let us know. I love our blog community because we can share our lives with others and so glad you are doing the same.
That is not nice...I hope you will feel better and better! ♥ I just saw your comment on my blog!!! Where in Oregon do you live? We LOVED the lavender sea salt milk chocolate covered caramels from Lillie Belle and next door the Rogue River Flora Nelle bleu cheese (brought some home in the cooler and still have a bit of the wedge in our fridge)!
oh dear, I'm so sorry. That sounds awful - but I'm glad you're getting it under control now. We will add you to our prayers and hope it doesn't turn out to be the chronic kind!
Hi Xenia,
You don't know me, but I've been following your blog for a few years because, well, I think we would be friends if we met. Anyway, I just want you to know that you are in my prayers!
In Christ,
Hannah
13???!!!??? Do you mean 13,000? Okay, that made me look up my protocol on thrombocytopenia. It's considered "severe" if there are less than 50,000 platelets! Suggestions from my protocol: get plenty of protein, Vitamin B, and folate. Drink a tea every day made from dandelion, nettles, and yellow dock. And it is also not a condition in itself, but a sign of something else going on. Like you said, it's probably an autoimmune disease if it started in pregnancy.
Wow, dear, I hope you find the cause and can treat it, and I hope that treatment isn't too onerous!
How my goodness!! How scary. I hope you are beginning to feel better and that this is NOT a chronic problem.
I've loved reading your blog over the years, so keep it up :)
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